


Wrong Way

by ObsidianRomance



Series: Wrong Way [1]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Attempted Mpreg Jared, Birth, Grumpy Jensen, Hormonal Jensen, M/M, Mpreg, Pregnancy, Versitial J2, cursing, mpreg Jensen, reference to sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2016-09-10
Packaged: 2018-08-14 06:27:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8001874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObsidianRomance/pseuds/ObsidianRomance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen never wanted to be pregnant. That's why he's ready to kill Jared when he finds out that he is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wrong Way

**Author's Note:**

> This is something I wrote years ago and never moved it from my LiveJournal account to my AO3 account. I will post the whole series within this week. It is kinda a silly story and it is actually my first RPF ever.

The only way Jensen can react when his husband sits down in front of him at breakfast and calmly states, “let’s go make a baby,” is to spit his orange juice all over the table. It’s not that the concept itself shocks him – they’ve talked about it for a while – but the way he says it, like it is the simplest adjustment to their lives. It’s not that he doesn’t want it either, because he does, he really really does. In fact, it was Jared who wanted a little more time with just the two of them. And he is sure that he looks like an idiot with orange juice dribbling from his chin as he shoots a perplexed stare at his husband who is all too composed in the seat across from him.

His dumbfounded look is quickly replaced when Jared says, “Now. I took a test. I’m ovulating.” Jensen’s reaction is an entirely different one this time, eyebrows quirked, lips smirking. Though still reeling from the suddenness of it all, he’s caught up in the moment, and it sounds like a good idea. Plus, he is sure that making a baby will be as fun as all those ‘practice runs’. So when he rises from his seat and pulls Jared into his arms, it is the taller man’s turn to squawk in surprise. Jared is damn pretty sometimes, and after a couple of hours upstairs in bed he is pretty, writhing, and sweaty.

Getting Jared pregnant proves to be more of a challenge than either man had anticipated. A few months go by with no results. Amidst a mountain of negative pregnancy test, they keep trying. In fact Jensen is doing everything in the book – also known as what Jared tells him to do – to help them conceive. Most of it is pretty basic, he’s sticking to standard missionary position because gravity is supposed to work in the couples’ favor. When Jared reads something about doggie-style allowing for the sperm to be deposited deeper inside the body, they switch to that. Most of the time it is a rotation of the two, but once there was that time up against the wall, and the time on the staircase, and the backseat of…okay, so maybe they aren’t always sticking to the rule book, but at least it has been fun.

Aside from having sex like teenagers when Jared it ovulating (and even when he’s not) they are even doing some things that Jensen thinks are silly. He doesn’t say that out loud of course because his husband is a man on a mission and crossing him would be deadly. Instead, he goes out and buys leafy greens, pumpkin seeds, and salmon because they are supposed to increase chances of conception. He doesn’t even like salmon, but he eats it too and then reminds himself what a good husband he is.  The line is drawn at yoga though, because while Jared may think it lowers his stress and negative energy, Jensen only thinks two things: 1) He would look like an ass doing it himself, 2) His husband’s ass looks pretty tasty in yoga pants.

They are doing everything they can to get Jared pregnant, so when Jensen starts feeling run down, he figures he picked something up from the office. A few weeks later when he is up all night (and several times the next day) retching into the toilet bowl, he blames old leftovers that he thought he shouldn’t have eaten. When the sickness returns the following week, he thinks it could be the flu that has been going around and he doesn’t worry too much, until he realizes he only seems to feel sick after he eats.

Then he panics, which is actually an understatement. What he really does is hyperventilate, take the rest of the day off from work, speed home, and tear open one of the 4,000 pregnancy tests Jared has laying around. It takes three minutes for the plus sign to show up loud and clear. He curses, rips open another package, and pees on it, knowing full well that the first one was correct. He does it anyway, hoping his gut and the first test were wrong. They’re not. He hates what that means but he already loves his and Jared’s baby.

When he tells Jared, Jensen’s angry; he practically throws the test at his husband’s face. He knows they are both to blame, but he’s angry and that fuels him to take it out on his husband. This isn’t the way it was supposed to happen. He doesn’t want to be pregnant; he’s almost phobic about that.  He thought those few times he bottomed for Jared when he wasn’t ovulating would be fine, they were safe. But fate had other plans and Jensen decides fate can suck it.

He doesn’t expect Jared to be so excited about it. Originally he had anticipated some form of hurt or betrayal, but there goes his husband, being all amazing and genuine. So Jensen can’t stay angry. He isn’t happy about the situation, but he isn’t angry either, which is a step.

Unfortunately, he doesn’t get much farther than that. He hates pregnancy. He hates everything about it – except the baby. He loves the baby but everything else turns out to be the worst thing he ever did. When he hears people talk about how amazing pregnancy is, he wants to punch them. When anyone other than Jared tries to touch his stomach, he wishes he could cut their hands off. In contrast to Jared, the doting, incredible, accommodating husband, he knows he is being a nightmare.

When they find out it is a boy, he lets himself cry, which he hates. But their baby is healthy and growing and despite how terrible Jensen feels right now, the baby seems perfect. He latches onto Jared and kisses him so soundly that he forgets there are other people in the room.  Okay, so maybe there are some good parts to pregnancy: the baby and finding out they’re having a boy, but that is it. Everything else still sucks.

Jensen is not a good pregnant person and he doesn’t hide it. He wishes sci-fi movies were real so he could somehow transfer this fetus into Jared’s body. But he can’t, so he is stuck feeling huge and helpless and he never realized how much he really likes mint chocolate chip ice cream. He is glad Jared at least has the decency to go out and buy some. He tells Jared he loves him because of it. When Jared laughs and says he knows, Jensen pitches a fit because how could he possibly know? He just told him that. Jared laughs again and Jensen has no idea what is so funny, but he has his ice cream so he doesn’t care. Other than ice cream, and the baby, and finding out its gender, this whole thing still sucks.

The morning Jensen goes into labor he is surprisingly calm. Jared is freaking out but Jensen just sits in the middle of the bed trying to figure out what to do. When his husband finally stops panicking, Jensen tells him he loves him, that it will be okay. It’s the first time he reassured his husband during this whole pregnancy and Jared reacts by kissing him and holding him for a minute. Jensen decides to add that to “moments that don’t suck”, because he feels incredibly loved and oddly happy.

That feeling disappears five hours into labor when he decides he hates Jared. It isn’t severe hate; just enough to toss him dirty looks and glower at him. It seems weird because that hate only comes when he has contractions. Labor might be the suckiest part about pregnancy.

When he is finally dilated four centimeters, he has a whole new person to hate. He still hates Jared, who for some reason keeps coming back for more abuse and diligently wipes the sweat from his brow. But he found out he cannot get an epidural because he is allergic. Apparently it is an extremely rare thing. Lucky him. He adds his anesthesiologist to the list of things that suck about pregnancy.

By the time Jensen is ready to start pushing, he really really hates his husband. He isn’t afraid to let everyone know that either. They say he doesn’t mean it, but he is awfully sure he does. No one can possibly understand how much he means it. He doesn’t even want Jared touching him, except a voice that sounds suspiciously like his own is begging Jared to stay. He is so tired; he doesn’t even know what is going on anymore. Then he realizes he made a mistake, pushing is the suckiest part of pregnancy. The doctor’s encouragement that he is doing ‘really good’ makes Jensen want to kick him in the face. Only he can’t, because the stirrups his feet are in have him splayed at a weird angle and he is too preoccupied pushing out what he is sure must be a 15 pound baby.

Everything changes when the doctor tells him the baby is crowning. He decides that he is going to kill Jared. It will be fine; he can be a single parent. There are a lot of single parents, he figures it will be tough but he can do it.  Even with the death threats, Jared presses kisses to his forehead. What the fuck is wrong with him? He is yelling at Jared as he pushes, telling him he is going to kill him, tear him apart. The nurses and doctor want him to shut up so he can use that energy for pushing, but they can all go jump off a cliff. They clearly have no idea how much this hurts. He screams as he feels the baby’s head breech his entrance.

If Jared thought Jensen wanted him dead when he pushed their son’s head out, he was mistaken. Because pushing the shoulders out makes Jensen want to kill his husband, resurrect him, and then kill him again. It is like Jared can’t even hear him because he doesn’t look threatened. Instead, Jared keeps saying things like “almost there” and “keep going”. Jensen would have kept yelling at him, but he is too busy bearing down as hard as he can, because the faster he gives birth, the faster he can kill Jared.

But he never gets a chance to. Because, with 7lbs 12oz and 20.5 inches of baby Shane nestled into his arms, all he can do is apologize, kiss his son’s head, kiss his husband’s lips and say “thank you” over and over again. This is the best part of pregnancy.  He realizes he doesn’t hate Jared; he has no idea who that crazy person saying all those things was. He loves his husband. He loves his son. And he feels like he is undeserving of all of these things because he’s been terrible. He is apologizing to Jared so much that he is crying, but he shouldn’t have worried. Jared is right there, sticking with him like he always does, telling him how proud he is of him and “what death threats?” Jared is a bad bluffer, but Jensen laughs and realizes it is okay. He looks down at the baby he loved since the first plus sign and realizes that Shane is amazing, but he is glad everything is over. For good measure, he even threatens Jared’s manhood if he ever puts him through this again.

Which explains why when, just a month shy of Shane’s third birthday and a year after Jared delivered their baby girl Chloe, – quite effortlessly, much to Jensen’s dismay – Jensen finds himself pregnant again he decides his husband either has a death wish or super sperm. He curses up a storm and swears he is sending Jared to the local animal shelter to have him neutered. But they both know how the whole drama will end up, because Jensen already loves their new baby, and he remembers that not everything about pregnancy sucked….even though most of it did.


End file.
